Ol’ Dry Town Jakarta


Working at a newspaper, I’ve had to come up with a number of different terms for the “global financial crisis”, and I imagine I’ll have to keep doing so for some time.

But when I’m not at work, there is another crisis affecting my life: the booze crisis.

Yes, Jakarta is in a severe booze crisis. In trying to stop illegal importation of alcohol, the government implemented some dodgy policies that meant alcohol imports basically stopped in July. The annual quota of alcohol imports has been exceeded and, I guess, there’ll be no more booze coming into the country until next year.

Some bars have jacked up their prices while waiters smile and say habis (finished) to just about every drink you try and order.

In the last few weeks, I’ve been to a Spanish restaurant that had to stop serving sangria, a Japanese place that had no sake and a pizza place that had no beer, except the local Bintang.

My body definitely thanked me the next morning for the lack of sangria and sake, which I always find hard to drink in moderation.

I could sure use a few weeks of sobriety.

But what would my life be like without my preferred poison?

If booze didn’t exist, I would probably realise how stupid I look dancing the robot and the running man in the year 2015 years after it was cool, and would consider giving that up; I would be less likely to invite myself up on stage to sing with random bands for the cheap thrill of feeling like an Indonesian Idol star; and I probably would be much better at keeping secrets, which seem to spew out of my mouth after a few drinks.

So you see, administration, banning booze imports means depriving the world of the robot, running man, bad karaoke and hot gossip. Please reconsider — it’s for the good of the people.






2 Responses to “Ol’ Dry Town Jakarta”

  1. nyscha Says:

    No, government, not the running man! Anything but that! Damn you! Damn you to hell!

    We’ll find a way to get booze, we will. Even if we must scour the slums and dive the sewage, we’ll find that firewater, I promise you.

  2. tbelfield Says:

    Get some rice and a clay pot. Ferment said rice for five days in clay pot. Boil fermented concoction and catch the condensation. Mmmmmm. Kick ass Arak. Problem solved.

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