Oh, Abu Bakar Bashir. I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s your lips, cherry red, almost pulsing with sexuality. Your stare, beady, all knowing. Your lazy bedroom eye, oh, yes, point me in the right direction. That hand, held ever so slightly effeminately, it keeps me wondering, you mystery man you.
So. Much. Desire. So. Very. Very. Illegal.
Yeah. So. New Pornography bill. Awesome stuff. It got passed today, in great urgency to protect woman and children.
In fact, Indonesia’s been so caught up in the banning of sexual desire that they’re still mulling over whether a 43-year-old Muslim cleric who married a 12-year-old girl called Ulfa has done anything wrong.
Nah, but seriously, it’s all cool. He’s treating her well. “If she hasn’t menstruated, I won’t have sexual intercourse with her,” said Puji.
Sweet as, Puji. ‘Cause here I was thinking there was some major child exploitation going on! Reeeelaxxx!
This from The Jakarta post:
An ulema at the Soko Tunggal Islamic boarding school in Semarang, Nuril Arifin Husein, strongly criticized Puji’s marriage to the girl.
“If he claims to be a syech, which means professor, he should be a role model for the community. In Islam, a marriage should be a union of the same stature. What he has done is clearly against Islamic law,” said Nuril.
Yeah, but let’s go through all the proper procedures, take our time, reflect over it before we do anything to address the situation. This is a Muslim cleric we’re talking about after all.
And anyway, we’re pretty distracted with this porn bill. BECAUSE QUICKLY! WE MUST PASS THE BILL! BECAUSE RIGHT NOW THERE IS PORN! ON THE INTERNET! CHILDREN MIGHT BE ABLE TO SEE PORN! THERE ARE ARTWORKS OF NAKED WOMEN IN INDONESIA! PEOPLE WRITE POETRY ABOUT SEX! WE MUST PROTECT WOMEN AND CHILDREN!
Who cares if two entire factions of the parliament walked out on debate! Pass pass pass! PROTECT THE CHILDREN! PROTECT THE CHILDREN!
Puji said he met Ulfa’s parents for their consent and that Ulfa had also agreed to the marriage.
“So, what have I done wrong? My reasons stem from a book titled Aisyah Saja Nikah Muda (Aisyah Herself Married Young), written by Ummu Aisyah.”
Hey, yeah! She was like the same age! Now there’s some approval from the higher authority!
But back to the Porn law! From the Post:
“We are very happy with the result of our struggle to protect children, and also to protect women,” said Lasmiantini, of several groups who supported the pornography bill.
“If our husbands are (exposed to) pornography then our families will be destroyed.”
“Now our children are safe,” said Lasmiantini, chairwoman of Salima’s Bekasi chapter.
Cries of joy and shouts of Alhamdullillah (praise God) came from the balcony of the House of Representatives’ plenary hall as the gavel was struck to mark the passage of the controversial bill on pornography.